Looking back at my 2012, I went through some pretty major life changes and made some significant achievements, despite the year mainly feeling like putting my life on hold.

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Having written and proofread the above, 2012 feels like a year where I purposely put everything on hold, ‘reinstalled’ my identity and hopefully set myself up with a freshly formatted stable home and social life on which to build sustainable new routines, projects and relationships from a position of greater self-knowledge.

The changes I’ve already made seem to have helped with problems like low level chronic fatigue, which I take as an extremely positive sign that I’m doing the right sorts of things. Next year I’m hoping to work productively with the specialists at Nottingham City Asperger Service on helping me to understand myself and develop better strategies for maximising my strengths and working around my difficulties. I’m also planning to take some of my existing projects out of hiatus and take them in a new, more authentic intersectional direction. I’m feeling optimistic.

Hopefully 2013 will be the year I take my life out of hiatus.

I saw the gender clinic for my surgery follow up today. That’s going to be the last time I should ever need to see them!

After getting blocked by Canterbury PCT in 2002 and having started out in 1999, it feels good to have finally successfully got everything I needed out of the system. I was extremely nervous and felt very vulnerable when I submitted myself to Nottingham Gender Clinic as nonbinary in 2009, but my psych was friendly and cooperative, understanding and helpful right up to the last moment. I’m regretting not asking for a parting hug rather than a handshake! :)

It felt so good to have seen a gender psych for the last time that I celebrated with ice cream :D

Avoiding the CLEAN ALL THE THINGS cycle

My plan to trick myself into being a functional adult without going through the doomed hyperactive 'CLEAN ALL THE THINGS' stage seems to be working.

The trick is currently not to let myself get distracted from cleaning up after things. No excuses, I clean up immediately. This means pausing the TV and getting up and doing the washing up in *gasp* the middle of an episode (I KNOW RIGHT?).

So starting this wasn’t too daunting, I let myself off doing the epic pile of dirty recycling in one go and I’m soaking some of it with the left over washing up water every time. I’m down to only a small pile now.

The reward after cleaning the things is to go back to the TV show/website/Twitter conversation etc I stopped halfway in the middle of. Having a reward is important.

So far this is working, I’m even cleaning more things than just the dishes. I finish the washing up and go ‘hmm this thing is also dirty, might as well clean that’. I am giving myself the habit of tidying up after myself, like a grown up or vaguely well trained child does!

This strategy took me until I was 32 year old to work out :)

…although it’s not been a week yet, so I guess we’ll he how long I take to burn out with it ramped down to ‘clean SOME of the things’…